To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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