question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
