Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
