going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
