Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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