We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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