WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
