Your face is a jimmy john
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
