He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
