I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
