You don't have asthma, your pregnant
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
