I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
