i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
