I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
