Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
