i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
