I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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