I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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