My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
