i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
