I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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