you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
