The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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