Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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