no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
