i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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