She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
