1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize