my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
