He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
