I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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