The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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