Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
