That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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