I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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