p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
