last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
