okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
