im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do vagina's smell?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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