i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
