i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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