after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
