weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
