When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
