Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
