We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
