im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
