She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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