So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
