What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My life is pants optional.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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