She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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