if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
